The 7 Stages of Divorce

PANIC is an extreme case of FEAR; as is TERROR. It is normal for humans to experience the “fight or flight” impulse. Even if it is correct for us to flee at one moment; it may be appropriate for us to fight later; or vice-versa.

DENIAL is not weakness; the mind simply overloads. But the difference between healthy and unhealthy denial is to revisit the subject again and again until you are satisfied that you have seen it from all sides and taken appropriate action.

AGONY is the normal grieving process that we experience. It is essential that we allow ourselves to process through our grief using all the support that we may need.

RAGE is the human reaction to many traumatic events but we must learn to resolve our anger privately and responsibly. We cannot afford to become terrorists ourselves.

EPIPHANY is the moment we realize something new and wonderful has occurred as a result of a trauma. In divorce, our epiphany may relate to our new freedom.

NEGOTIATION is an internal conversation as we negotiate with ourselves. We must choose individually what compromise we will make before we negotiate through our attorneys.

PEACE is the goal and we must continue the inner work until we reach it. “Peace isn’t going to find us; we have to find peace.” Susan Allan, the Divorce Forum™