Free Divorce Forum™ previews October 4th, 18th; November 1st, 15th from 6 p.m.- 7:30 p.m. The Divorce Forum™ November 17th in Santa Monica. 10 a.m.- 2 p.m. The Cost is $50 at Quest 1455 19th Street Santa Monica. For reservations 818-314-1200 or 805-695-8405 or susanallan@thedivorceforum.com

Learn from The Divorce Experts: Susan Allan; Mark Patt, Esq., Managing Partner of Trope and Trope; Deanie Kramer, Mediator for "Divorce Court TV" and founder of Divorce Resource; Michael Krycler, C.P.A., Founder of Krycler, Ervin, Schreiber & Walheim; Sally Franz, Youth Minister & author; William Stierle, President Corporate Culture Development; Rev. Bernard Goodman, Psychic healer & author

THE 7 STAGES OF DIVORCE© are PANIC, DENIAL, AGONY, RAGE, EPIPHANY, NEGOTIATION AND PEACE

STAGE IV RAGE

RAGE is violent and uncontrolled anger. It may be the human reaction to traumatic events but we must learn to process our anger responsibly and completely in order to reach PEACE.

"While feelings of RAGE towards one's spouse are often part of the divorce process, such feelings need to be curbed or held in check in the legal proceedings…Expressions of rage…as part of the legal proceeding are counterproductive and can often lead to adverse consequences." Mark Patt, Esq. Managing partner of Trope and Trope

Please send your questions to susanallan@thedivorceforum.com

Dear Divorce Coach©,

My daughter is married to a man who has tantrums. He is a good provider but he has a temper and he screams. She loves him but I worry about her safety. What are her rights?

Sincerely,

Mother and Law,

Dear Mother,

The laws for spousal abuse in California have changed radically since the death of Nicole Brown Simpson. You don't mention physical threats or injury but your daughter should know that a call to 911 has become a serious commitment to prosecution as it never was before. Arrests now result in a high percentage of convictions. I would urge her to seek couples therapy and rage management training for her husband.

Sincerely,

The Divorce Coach©

Dear Divorce Coach©,

I discovered an erotic love letter to my wife and confronted her. She began to yell and to punch me. She threatened to kill me; to leave and to take our child. I have never seen her like this. If I push her, she'll leave but if I don't, she'll continue the affair. And maybe she'll leave anyway. And I can't have her raging in front of our daughter.

Signed,

Horrified Husband

Dear Horrified,

You may wish you could control your wife. However, with the exception of Restraining Orders and police intervention, your power lies in speaking calmly and compassionately with her. The techniques of nonviolent communication available in our seminars in October and November will teach you the basics. When you learn how to listen to her needs and to tell her your own, the possibility of compromise appears. I encourage you to discuss these issues when you are alone with your wife and your daughter is elsewhere.

Sincerely

The Divorce Coach©