ASK THE DIVORCE COACH©, SUSAN ALLAN

For one hour free relationship coaching, susanallan@thedivorceforum.com

ASK THE DIVORCE COACH©, SUSAN ALLAN

TAX TIME TRAGEDIES

 Michael Krycler, founder of Krycler, Ervin, Taubman & Walheim, pre-minent CPA firm in Sherman Oaks , reports that it was not unusual for one party to find themselves being chased by the I RS for taxes owed by the new spouse from a period prior to marriage. Speaking at The San Fernando Valley Bar Association on "Innocent Spouse" tax regulations, Krycler specified that if one partner received the benefit of the under-reported income he or she is no longer an “Innocent Spouse”. He described a case in which the wife earned the unreported income and spent the money gambling, unbeknownst to the husband.  The husband prevailed as he had no knowledge of the unreported income, and proved that he did not receive any benefit.

 Many shocking divorce dramas concern “Family Fortunes”. How can a spouse be protected when marrying money? One story describes a 15 year marriage with “hot and cold running servants”, European vacations etc. However, when she requested a divorce the funds were frozen and their child, taking a junior year abroad, found that suddenly the monthly stipend was not wired to the Paris bank. During the divorce she learned that her husband's income for their entire marriage was considered inheritance based on intricate financial planning by the family.

“Get a good Prenup that gives real benefits. If your new spouse has a fortune but does not work, there will probably be no community property and the "out" spouse would get little or nothing upon a divorce.” Krycler advises that “it may be necessary to hire a Private Detective or run a credit check…to discover…any ‘skeletons' in the other person's closet.”

Last year, California law began to require legal counsel in the preparation of Prenuptial Agreements. Be sure to consult an attorney and to have your Prenups updated regularly. One of the coaching trainings that I provide is “How to Discuss Prenups with your Beloved and still Get Married!”

 According to Deanie Kramer, founder of Divorce Resource , Inc., top mediation firm in Los Angeles “There are no other legal documents … including wills, real property deeds, divorces, royalty agreements or even consent to be a live organ donor which the law says you cannot bind yourself, as a competent adult, without an attorney.”

Dear Divorce Coach,

I am thinking of divorcing my husband of six years; no children.  I own a house with my mother we bought in 2003.  I also own land in Florida which was bought two years ago. For the last three years we had separate accounts because I found out that he had a $75,000 stock account in his name alone.  He used my money for this account and claims that he had forgotten to add my name to this account.  He has also withdrawn money from our checking/savings account AND HAS PLACED IT SOMEWHERE . I notice that our account was decreasing quickly and he owes me $12, 000.  Is it legal for him to get my land and house if the house is in my mother's and my name?  I bought the house and land after the accounts were separated with my money.  He lives in apartment and has stock accounts and a bank account.  Also, what can I claim from him?

Sincerely,
Money Sand-bagged

Dear Money,

It is essential to know that accounts should be separated during the entire marriage, from Day 1 with your name plus, “married woman, separate property as the account title. I have noticed your use of the pronoun “I” through your inquiry. It appears that you and your husband never merged; not only your accounts but also your future. Your marriage was based on assets and so your divorce will be as well unless you decide to see if there is real love and connection there. If you prefer to divorce, I urge you to consult a CPA who specializes in dissolutions or a divorce financial planner. Different scenarios and different paperwork result in different results.

Sincerely yours,
Susan Allan
Ask The Divorce Coach

The answer to avoiding divorce is to marry for love and to wait for evidence that your spouse's feelings are mutual. Even then, a “Prenup” is strongly advised. In business arrangements, a combination of legal contracts, research and personal experience are required. Should you be less aware before entering marriage? When you use finances as the sole foundation for a relationship, even business partnerships falter. When you develop trust over time, and consider if your both partner's needs have been honestly expressed and met, then you create a true union.

If you are looking for fun, isn't it better to express that? While you may lose dates only interested in marriage, you will avoid those for whom the need for marriage outweighs an interest and attraction to you. Letting go is the basis of Unconditional Love and Acceptance and you may discover a partner who's appeal is so strong that you find your own rules melt away. Often a partner once unwilling to consider remarriage finds that he is all smiles at the altar with a new woman. Remember that trust is mutual and financial security once lost often requires a lifetime to recoup. A loving relationship considers your needs and your Beloved's with equality.

For 101 Divorce Survival Secrets, and free E-zine, visit www.thedivorceforum.com . For one hour of free, private telephone coaching, contact susanallan@thedivorceforum.com